The picture in my head was far different from my reality though. When I had kids, they would be perfect. I would do everything right (because duh, I knew everything back then) and they would listen to me because I knew what I was doing. They would always clean up after themselves and be able to do cute things on command, and there would be no such thing as tantrums. And while my kids were playing perfectly, I would have time to learn new things and develop new talents with all my free time.
Enter reality. I thought that by reading and researching every scenario possible, I would be prepared for anything. Not so much.
I've been peed on, pooped on, spit on and barfed on. I've cleaned up messes from food, toys, books, my purse, beds, bathrooms, store floors, my tupperware cupboard, etc. I've watched Dora so many times that I can probably repeat entire episodes to you. I've woken up 10 times in one night with a sick child. I've been given advice from complete strangers, some who don't even have kids. I've been so exhausted and sore from nursing that I swore I would never forget the pain and suffering, and that I didn't know how it could be worth it.
But it is.
Each time my daughter calls for me when she wakes up, it's worth it. Each time she comes running to me to tell me something new she discovered and is so excited about, it's worth it. Each time she laughs and smiles, it's worth it. Each time she cries or is upset and only wants me, it's worth it. Each time she asks me to kiss an owie and she tells me it feels all better when I do, it's worth it. Each time she uses good manners because it's how I taught her, it's worth it. Each time she sings a song along with me or by herself, it's worth it. Each time she tells me she loves me or gives me a kiss without any prompting from me, it's worth it.
I used to think that being a mom was easy and rewarding. At least I was right about the last part.
**Side note: I haven't had as rough a time as I know a lot of mom's have, so this is also a shout-out to moms who have dealt with colic, sick kids much more often and just more difficult children. I know each one of you probably feel the same way, that no matter how hard it can get, it's still worth it.**
5 comments:
That was a great post! I think it's easy for us childless people to think the same way you used to- that I'm going to do it this way or that way and that will be the right way. But there is no right way! You're such a great mom!
You are a good mommy. Although I agree with you on everything...I'm not fond of waking up 10 times a night. I'm a little more kinder when my kids are sick but if I don't get sleep I'm one grumpy momma. Wish I could be like you. You do a great job!
Love this post...you are such a good Mom!
I know just how you feel! Motherhood is nothing like you ever could have imagined. I can tell that you are so in love with Peyton and that you are such a good mom.
Amanda, I'll say it again: You are an amazing woman. And you have such a strong talent for writing. I always love reading what you write and am constantly amazed at the art in which you do so. Don't ever stop! I must be emotional today because both of your last posts have made me cry. And you're so right... it is all worth it! You know that picture of Christ in the clouds with his hands stretched out? Barry has a pass-along card that says "I never said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it." I love that so much. I love you!!!!
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