This is a letter to inform you that I am a first-time mother. Although you may have been the perfect parent (or even if you don't have kids, I'm sure you have the capability to be) but I am not perfect. Thank you for telling me my 11-month old daughter who doesn't walk yet should really be wearing shoes and socks. What I didn't tell you was that her shoes always fall off and so I put them on before I left the house, but they came off in the car. Rather than worry about losing them, I left them in the car. And as for the socks, she had those on as well, but is a super smart kid and knows how to pull them off herself.
Also, I am very aware that the temperature outside is a bit warm, but what you don't know is that I have been running errands since very early this morning. If you would have been awake at that time, you would know that it was a chilly morning, so please don't tell me that she is going to get heat stroke or whatnot just because she is wearing a long sleeve shirt. I understand, and if you would have known what my morning has been like, you wouldn't have said anything.
Finally, I would like to say that you should not assume anything. Do not assume because my child is wearing blue and has short hair that she is a boy. Just because a baby doesn't have much hair or isn't wearing pink, doesn't make her a boy. If you are unsure of the child's sex, please refer to him/her as a baby and nothing more.
This letter is also to tell you that while something may have worked for you, it doesn't work for everybody. So if you see me struggling in the grocery store, please do not come up to me and try to help by offering me your advice and wisdom. Simply pretend you don't notice so I do not feel like more of an idiot by realizing I am attracting attention.
Thank you for understanding.
Sincerely,
A first-time mom
P.S. Under no circumstances are you allowed to pick up my child. If you try, I will get extremely defensive and offend you, so please stick with telling me how cute she is and have a nice day.
9 comments:
That's right! I don't know why people are so critical, at least our kids are happy and have stable families, Who cares if they aren't always dressed "appropriately" or always doing exactly what everyone thinks they should be doing. Right now you are my hero.
Is she 11 months already?! Man, I hate how fast they aren't "babies" anymore. I think we will get a life of unsolicited and ignorant advise. I always just say something smart back, and then they leave me a lone. It's a small town, most people know not to bother me. LOL I'm sorry, I know exactly how you feel. Good luck, mom, you're doing great.
Too Funny. Bad Day? Sadly I get all of this ALL the time too. I think that once you become a mother you immediately become a target of advice whether you want it or not. Since I am now on my third I have come to the point of now letting the information go in one ear and straight out the other. My absolute favorite is "why isn't your baby wearing socks, aren't her feet cold?" My response "I'm hawaiian and hawaiian babies don't need socks" Funny thing is my grandma would always take my socks and shoes off but everyone here insists they need to be on. Hawaiian or not I figure they are babies, they don't need socks or shoes until they can walk. Like you said they fall off anyways so why spend the money on something that they aren't going to wear? I rarely get the comment that my kids look like they are too warm. I get a lot of comments of "Where's that babies blanket" "isn't she cold?" Yeah, people make me feel like a crummy mother all the time. To them I say GET A LIFE AND GET OVER IT THEY ARE MY KIDS!!! of course I could never be so mean to someones face so I just smile. I'm hoping that once my kids are older the advice will stop. Good Luck, you're doing a great job!
Yikes! How frustrating! Sounds like there's a good story to go with this letter . . .
just blow them all off.
you are doing amazing. and just remember that YOU are the perfect mother for your daughter. you are her mother for a reason. keep doing the best that you are doing...and just treat those "good-advice-rs" as a comedy - to be watched and laughed at, but never taken seriously.
Ha ha ha...I think it is a right of passage. You're now initiated into the club. Take advantage now while Peyton is young enough not to understand your responses to the idiot masses.
When it happens now, I have to guard myself or I have to explain to a 6 and 3 year old what "_____(insert random insult)" means. Or "Dad, why did you yell at that person?" Haa ha ha.
People can be so cruel sometimes; sometimes its unintentional and other times they're just ignorant. My one son had terrible problems as a baby with eczema, so bad that he would scratch in his sleep and wake up with his ears and forehead all bloody sometimes. Of course, I'd do everything I could 35 years ago when this was happening, but life had to go on. So, although he would be cleaned up, he would still be covered with very visable scabs and sores. I would get comments in the stores from women who would just stare at him and say things like, "What happened to HIM?" "Did he run into a brick wall?" very cruel things that a little 3 year old could understand and feel self-conscious about and believe me, the mother-bear came out of me BIG time! I know this isn't exactly what you experienced but in a way, it was kinda worse because they were talking about MY child, not me and my parenting skills. I think I could have handled that better. Just ignore their comments and continue to be the good mother I know you are.
AMEN!!! Love this, it reminds me of how everytime I would go out to do an errand I would come home royally ticked off! LOL!! People have WAY too many opinions to share.
I think I have a very similar blog in my archives. Totally understand the shoes and socks thing...there are only so many times you can put those things back on in a day!
My 13 mo. old daughter wears a lot of blue too, it's my favorite. I don't even bother correcting people most of the time. Probably won't see them again anyway.
Learning to just smile and walk away from unwanted commenters.
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